Painful Noises
by SilverChelle
Summary: Sheelos One-shot: Sheena reveals a secret about her past to Zelos. I made up the secret, so this may be a bit unbelievable, but I just felt like writing it and would like to know what you think. So--please--read and review. Thanks. -SC


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any characters involved.

**Painful Noises**

The sun poked through the trees in only various places, and so my view was limited as my seven companions and I made our way through the woods. It was about midday, and we were in Tethe'alla searching for a little village that was apparently hidden so deeply in the woods that it was nearly impossible to find. And I couldn't say for sure, but I was almost positive that I was not the only one who wanted a break from the two-day hunt.

We hadn't gotten much sleep the past two nights; one night it rained buckets; the other night, monsters kept attacking the camp. Plus, I had been the night watch the rainy night, and I didn't wake anyone up to take over for me because I knew they were all so tired, so I hadn't slept at _all_ that first night.

But hopefully tonight would bring more promise of peaceful slumber.

"Hey, guys, look what I found!"

I snapped out of my reverie with a start at the sound of Lloyd's enthusiastic adolescent voice. Scanning our travel-worn group, I didn't see him, so I simply followed his voice when he called again and was surprised to step out into the sunlight. I looked around, and sure enough, we were completely out of the woods and in a huge field that stretched on and on. The long green grass rippled as a gentle warm breeze blew, and the sky was a clear azure color. All in all, it was my favorite kind of day.

I went to stand beside Lloyd.

"Which way are we going?" I asked him, furrowing my brow. "If the village is in the woods, then we must be in the wrong place."

He frowned and scratched his head.

"I don't know," he said, sounding a bit frustrated. "Sometimes it's hard to be the leader; I don't always know what to do."

"Well, no one does," a voice said, and I felt an almost magnetic presence next to me.

"Yeah, I guess," Lloyd responded, sighing in defeat.

I looked up at Zelos. His face was nonchalant as always, but his blue eyes were a little weary. I frowned, knowing that it was bad if Zelos started to look tired. If it was showing in his face, he must have been very tired.

Or maybe I had just become better at reading his face.

"What kind of look is that?" Zelos asked suddenly, grinning at me. "I come over here, and the first thing you do is frown."

I scowled and mentally kicked myself.

"You should be used to it by now," I said, annoyed. "Maybe if you wouldn't bother me so much I wouldn't frown at you so much."

He gave me a look of mock-hurt.

"But I wasn't bothering you just now," he whined. "I didn't even say anything to you."

"You don't have to," I muttered, turning and walking away.

I didn't feel like fighting, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control my temper: If I started a fight because I was grumpy, then _I_ would have to apologize.

"Someone's feeling a little blue today," Zelos remarked, coming up behind me.

I scowled again, and I realized that that had been the dominant look on my face lately. I would have to work on that.

"Zelos, leave me alone," I snapped, knowing he was exactly right. "I don't want to fight with you right now."

He raised his eyebrows a little.

"If you insist, madam," he said, bowing and gesturing courteously, but there was a twinkle in his blue eyes as he straightened himself.

"Maybe later, then," he added, and then he turned and went to bother someone else.

Looking at our group, I realized that everyone was gathered in a circle, so I went over to join them.

"What's up?" I asked when I had reached them. "What's going on?"

"We're gonna set up camp now," Lloyd replied.

"Really?" I said. "Why?"

Raine looked at me.

"Everyone is exhausted," she told me. "We feel that it would be best for us all to get some rest."

I nodded gratefully.

"I'll be glad to get some sleep," I admitted. "But what about finding the village?"

"Tomorrow we will continue to search," the Professor continued. "Regal says he may know a way to find it."

"You mean like a shortcut?" I asked curiously.

Regal shook his head.

"It may not be shorter," he stated. "But at least it is a way."

I nodded in understanding.

"I am glad to be out of the woods," Presea said in her calm voice suddenly. "The woods make me think of home too much."

"D-don't worry, Presea," Genis assured her timidly. "I'll protect you."

"Genis, thank you for your concern," she responded, and I smiled slightly: Presea was learning to accept compliments, and it was a start.

Genis turned beet red and ducked his head shyly. Lloyd then pulled him away for whatever reason, and Colette followed them like an eager puppy. Presea went to sharpen her axe on the whetstone Genis had given her, and Regal and Raine became immersed in a deep discussion about the Kharlan Wars. Disinterested in all that, I walked away to retrieve my pack, which I had dropped nearby.

And Zelos followed me.

"Hey, Sheena," he said, but I didn't turn around. Instead I continued to walk, looking for my bag.

Where was it? I could have sworn I had left it close by…

"Sheena!"

"Hmm?" I asked, scanning the ground again.

"Looking for this?"

I jumped in surprise as a worn brown pack dangled in front of my face. I snatched at it once I could tell it was mine, but Zelos swung it out of my reach and held it up high.

"Zelos, give that to me!" I demanded, glaring at his dancing eyes. "_Now_."

"I don't know…" he teased, stepping away.

"Zelos!"

"Don't attack me, my violent banshee," he said lightly, which aggravated me to no end. "Your bag may become emptied in the process."

"Zelos, don't you dare look through my stuff!" I snapped, reaching again. "Stop toying with me!"

He danced out of my reach and came to a stop in front of the tree line. Annoyed immensely, I placed a fist on my hip and glared. I was in no mood to deal with the redhead's antics, yet here he was, bothering me on_ purpose_.

"Give—me—my—pack," I forced out through clenched teeth. "Or I will personally see to it that you lose part of your precious physique."

The impossible man stared at me with hearts in his eyes.

"Oh, Sheena!" he exclaimed. "The way you talk makes me think so dirty. Please tell me more!"

I rolled my eyes and barely managed to suppress a smile.

"Zelos," I said, giving a sigh of defeat. "Will you _please_ give me my pack?"

He tossed it to me, and I caught it with relief. Why did everything have to be such a chore with him?

"All you had to do was ask nicely, Sheena," the redhead said. "Manners matter."

"Shut up, you idiot," I said, and I turned away and began to rummage through my bag, searching for something.

However, I suddenly heard an awful, grating noise, and I froze.

I knew that noise.

Metal against bark.

Not again.

Not here.

Please not here.

Every muscle in my body locked for a moment.

"Yo, Lloyd," came Zelos' voice, sounding so far away. "That's kinda painful."

"I just wanted to see what it would sound like," Lloyd was saying.

But I barely heard them, for the noise continued.

My pack slipped from my suddenly trembling fingers and the contents spilled out. I took three steps back, right into Zelos.

"Sheena?" he called, still sounding distant. "Sheena, what's wrong?"

I felt his hands on my upper arms, but I tore out of his grip and ran off into the woods, terrified. I ran as hard as I could, feeling as though I were fleeing for my life. Memories took over and controlled my legs, and my ears roared.

I ran until I suddenly burst into a small clearing. It was then that I realized I had been running from nothing, and I fell to my knees. A horrible sob escaped my throat, and I pressed a shaking fist to my lips and squeezed my eyes shut.

"No," I sobbed, shaking my head. "Not again. Please…"

Tears began to slide down my cheeks, and I fell so that I was sitting on my feet. My hands were clenched tightly into fists, and I held them stiff in my lap.

"No," I whispered. "No, no, no, no…."

"Sheena!"

I didn't respond to the voice that called my name. I only continued to cry. I then saw someone crouch down in front of me. A pink tunic came into my view and then blue eyes and red hair also showed up. But I merely looked at my visitor without really seeing him.

"Sheena, what's wrong?"

"No, no, no, no, no—"

"Sheena!"

I felt warm hands take my leaking face, and I snapped back into reality with a jolt. For a long second I stared into the blue eyes in front of me. But then I suddenly stopped crying and grew very silent, and my eyes wandered away.

"Sheena, _talk_ to me," Zelos said. "Please tell me what's wrong!"

And then I fainted.

XXX

"Sheena-hunny, wake up…"

I stirred a little but couldn't open my eyes. They were so heavy…

"Wake up, my sweet banshee, because if you don't wake up soon, the others will come to look for us."

"I'm awake," I tried to say, but it came out as, "Mmh…"

"Sheena?"

With a he-man effort, I finally forced open my eyelids, and the first thing I saw was a beautiful blue.

"Zelos…?" I whispered, and I reached up a heavy hand and touched his cheek, confused.

"Yeah, honey, I'm here," he said softly, placing a warm hand on my cheek and stroking it with his thumb.

"What happened?" I asked weakly, and I realized that I was in Zelos' lap, and he had a strong arm around my shoulders, supporting my weight.

My hand slipped from his face, and he caught it and squeezed it.

"You ran off into the woods, babe," he answered. "You took off like a scared rabbit."

"Oh, yeah," I mumbled, rubbing my aching forehead with my free hand.

Even more exhausted than before and almost blinded by the glaring sunlight, I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against Zelos' shoulder.

"Are you still awake?" my friend asked, sounding slightly worried. "Don't faint on me again, Sheena, or I'll have to give you a lecture."

"I'm awake," I answered quietly.

But then I was silent.

"Sheena?"

"Hmm?"

"…What happened?"

I opened my eyes and looked up into Zelos' concerned face, and an anguished sigh escaped my throat.

"Do you…really want to know?" I asked, hanging my head.

I felt fingers under my chin, but I refused to meet Zelos' eyes when he tilted my face.

"Sheena-hunny, look at me," he commanded softly, and I reluctantly cut my gaze to his. "Tell me what happened. I want to know."

He nodded reassuringly and encouragingly, and I took a deep breath.

"Zelos," I half-whispered, giving him a pained look. "If I tell you this, you can _never_ ever tell anyone else."

The redhead's handsome face grew more serious, and he nodded. His deep blue eyes seemed to penetrate my brown ones, and after a moment of nervous deliberation, I pushed myself out of Zelos' lap and sat cross-legged in front of him. I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, and I second-guessed myself. Maybe I shouldn't reveal such a dark secret…

"You can tell me, okay?" Zelos said, his sweet gaze locked on my own gaze. "I'll keep it locked up; my lips are sealed. So just tell me."

I looked down at my hands and nodded slightly.

"I…I…When I was thirteen…"

Zelos took my hands in his warm bare ones and squeezed them.

"What happened when you were thirteen?" he prompted softly.

I took a shaky breath and tried again to speak. I continued, however, to stare at my lap. I couldn't bring myself to look at Zelos when I was so ashamed.

"When I was thirteen, one day…I went into the woods, and I didn't know…someone…followed me…and—"

"Zelos! Sheena!"

I tensed in surprise and stopped speaking at the sound of a new voice. I looked up to see Lloyd running over, and I heard Zelos swear under his breath.

"Sheena, Zelos—are you guys okay?" Lloyd panted, and I looked down at my lap uncomfortably. Lloyd had caught me in a ridiculously vulnerable state, and much to my mortification, I felt my eyes well up with hot tears. I secretly willed the tears not to fall, and it was quite the struggle; therefore, I was very thankful when Zelos spoke up.

"We're fine, bud," he told Lloyd. "We were just talking."

"'Kay," Lloyd said, oblivious to the world. "The others sent me to check on you 'cuz you've been gone for at least half an hour…"

He continued to talk, but I heard very little of what he said. I was concentrating on not crying, and I silently yelled at myself when a salty tear rolled down my cheek and hit one of Zelos' hands—which were still around mine—with a tiny splash. He squeezed my hands almost imperceptibly, and I stood up suddenly and walked past Lloyd into the woods without saying a word.

I went back to camp when I had regained my composure, and I tried not to think about painful noises.

XXX

For the rest of the day, I avoided Zelos as much as possible. I had the feeling he wanted to pull me away to have a private conversation, so I stuck with the others, never standing by alone.

I was afraid to talk.

I was afraid to talk to Zelos, to confess a secret I had hidden away for six years.

So I didn't talk to him all afternoon and evening. I didn't even look at him, and I remained on a superficially complacent level with the others.

Although I was still uneasy, relief flooded through me when dusk came and darkness closed around us. Everyone curled up in his or her bedroll—even Zelos—and I offered to be the night watch. There was no way I could sleep right now. I had too much on my mind.

So I sat in silence and poked at the fire with a stick, thinking about things. So far Zelos had not bothered me, and I was partly relieved. Maybe it was better if no one else knew what had happened to me. The knowledge of my rocky past certainly wouldn't benefit the others.

Sighing, I drew my knees to my chest and rested my forehead on them for a moment. This wasn't the first time something had stimulated a rough memory, and in a few days I would be fine again. I might have some nightmares for the rest of the month, but I would stick it out. I always did.

"Sheena."

I froze when I felt a hand touch my back.

Darn.

I knew who it was before I even looked up.

"What, Zelos?" I asked, lifting my head as he sat down beside me.

"Don't, Sheena," he said, looking at me. "Don't play dumb. You know what I want. We need to talk."

His blue eyes glinted in the bright moonlight, and I looked down.

"I—I don't want to talk," I faltered.

"C'mon, Sheena," he said, looking at me almost firmly. "We need to go talk."

I shook my head wordlessly but definitively.

"No," I hissed, trying not to wake anyone else. "I don't want to talk about it. I can't…"

But my voice faded when I looked up at Zelos set face.

"Can't?" he inquired, his mouth in a thin line. "Or _won't_?"

I hung my head in defeat.

"I—I don't know…" I admitted in a whisper. "Both, I think."

Zelos put his hand over one of mine, and his fingers curled around it.

"C'mon, hun, let's go talk, okay?" he offered.

I smiled wanly up at him.

"You won't take 'no' for an answer even if I refuse," I said.

The redhead chuckled quietly.

"You may have a point there," he teased. "Now come with me."

I pulled my hand away from him and stood when he did.

"Wait, Zelos," I said suddenly, frowning. "I can't just leave—I'm the night watch."

He grinned smugly.

"Already taken care of," he touted. "I asked Regal to cover for a while."

"You idiot," I accused, laughing. "You assumed I would talk to you. What if I change my mind?"

He shrugged.

"You wouldn't want El Presidente to lose sleep over nothing now, would you?" he asked innocently.

I scowled.

"That's low," I said, but I couldn't stay mad at him, especially because he wiggled his eyebrows in a jovial admittance.

I rolled my eyes and followed him away from camp.

"So where are we going?" I asked, trying not to fall on the uneven ground.

I stumbled once, and Zelos caught me.

"Careful, my beautiful ninja," he smiled, and I smacked him in the arm.

"I'm not beautiful, and I'm not your ninja," I growled correctively.

He raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

I was silent as well until we reached our destination.

After a couple moments, we arrived at a small stream. Zelos stopped, and he climbed a small hill that ended in a little cliff. I followed him up and sat beside him. Our legs hung over the edge of the cliff, and I was physically quite comfortable, and under normal circumstances, I would have been blushing furiously at the close proximity of Zelos.

I said nothing, however, and I wondered how long I could get away with it.

"So, Sheena," Zelos cut in, dashing my hopes. "Speak to me."

I looked up at him pleadingly.

"Are you sure you really want to know?" I asked in a strained voice, and my face fell completely when the man next to me gave a nod of affirmation.

"Well, okay…" I said in a small voice, looking back down at my thighs. "Are you really sure, because…"

"Don't stall, honey," Zelos said softly. "Just tell me what's on your mind."

I sighed.

"Easier said than done," I remarked dryly, and I fidgeted with my hands.

Zelos took one of my hands and held it safe and tight in both of his. The kind gesture helped a little, and I didn't even realize I squeezed his hand back.

"O-okay," I said timidly. "Then…I guess I'll tell you…

I took a deep breath and spoke.

"One day, when I was thirteen, I went into the woods because I had just gotten in a fight with Kuchinawa. I went pretty far in, and I walked for at least half an hour. I just needed to cool down, and I did. I kept walking until I almost felt better.

"But I didn't know—someone followed me—I was too late—I tried to run—Zelos, I don't think I can do this."

I was shaking like a leaf, and my stomach was twisting up into queasy knots. Stressed, I put my face in my free hand.

"Sheena, it's okay," Zelos assured me, scooting a little closer.

"I know," I whispered. "It's just hard, and—and I'm scared to say it."

"If it's this hard to tell," he replied. "That means it needs to come out. So back up a little and try to relax and stay calm. I swear it'll be okay. I'm right here to listen, so don't be scared."

I nodded and took another deep breath.

"I hadn't been paying attention," I continued in a shaky voice, clutching the fabric of my gi with my free hand. "I was too distracted, and that was so _stupid_ of me. I wasn't on my guard. But, anyway, I realized finally that someone was following me, and when I stopped walking and turned around, Kuchinawa was there, just _staring_ at me with such hate that I wanted to wither up or something.

"I asked him what he wanted, and I knew something wasn't right.

"He said—he said…"

I changed my voice to a whisper.

"He said, 'I want you to pay, Sheena. I hate you. So now I will make you feel the pain that tore me apart inside.' And then he came at me so fast I didn't even have a chance to defend myself. He beat me up, and that wasn't so bad because it wasn't the first time, but then—but then—"

I broke off, breathing fast and trembling hard. I felt my eyes pool up with tears, and I barely noticed. Instead, I looked up at Zelos' ever-unreadable face and finished the sentence in a hushed voice.

"He tortured me."

I broke down, sobbing, and I finished my story through a mask of tears. Darn it, I wasn't supposed to cry!

"He tied me to a tree and—and took his knife and tortured me until I cried and then some. He cut me all over, and I was so scared that he would kill me because it hurt so much. (He even broke my wrist.) I almost _wanted_ to die—anything to end the pain.

"But I think the worst part was that I was that I was so alone, and I couldn't save myself: I felt so out of control.

"At first I called for help, but when no one came, I stopped and just tried to endure it. And finally it ended, but I barely noticed, I was in so much pain.

"I don't want to explain everything he did because I just can't.

"Kuchinawa left me for dead, and I couldn't run or anything. I was alone for two days before anyone found me, and I don't even remember those days well. All I really remember is that I was so scared to be alone in the woods and that some monsters attacked me.

"When the villagers found me, I was barely conscious, and I was sick. They took me back to Mizuho and healed me, but I wouldn't tell anyone what happened because I was so ashamed, and I _never_ went into the woods alone after that unless I absolutely had to."

I stopped for a second and took a deep breath. I had stopped crying so much, and I went on.

"And the noise of a knife against a tree—Kuchinawa made it, too, and so when Lloyd did it, I couldn't help myself from getting scared.

"Also, because of what happened, I'm even more scared of being alone in the dark.

"And I have a lot of scars," I finished in a whisper.

Still upset, I pulled off my purple gloves, rolled up my black sleeves, and revealed the zig-zag lines on the inside of my forearms. Zelos' fingers hesitantly touched one of my arms, but I pulled my them away and reached up to my gi collar. Slowly, I pulled at the fabric with trembling hands until I was sure more scars were showing. And this time, I didn't shy away when Zelos touched me; I sat still while his warm fingers traced the jagged lines on the back of my shoulder.

"And that's why I flinch anytime anyone grabs my left shoulder," I whispered. "I know you noticed, but I didn't want to explain."

Tears began to slip down my cheeks again, and I shut my eyes against the barrage of memories that came.

"Sheena," Zelos murmured.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I sobbed softly into his shoulder.

"That bastard," Zelos muttered, and I was a little surprised at the uncharacteristic bite of his tone.

"I never told anyone before," I half-whispered. "I didn't know it would be so hard."

"If it hurts to think about it, then it will hurt to talk about it, honey," my friend said quietly.

I nodded wordlessly and wiped my eyes with the back of my hands.

"Th—thanks for listening," I sniffled, and Zelos kissed the top of my head gently. "I think it helped t—to talk about it."

"Anytime," he replied.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he kept one arm secured around my waist.

"Sheena?"

"Hmm?"

I looked up into Zelos' blue eyes, and I was surprised to see an unhappy look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked timidly when he didn't speak.

"You do know," he began a bit slowly. "That if I ever see that bastard again that I may not be able to control myself?"

My eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Huh?" I asked stupidly.

The redhead grinned crookedly, but his eyes were hard.

"You don't know how much I want to—_oh_—if I ever see him again…"

His jaw was set, and his mouth was in a thin line now. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his wild hair.

"Zelos," I said, my voice slightly panicked. "Don't do anything stupid. Promise me you won't do anything stupid. Kuchinawa would kill you without a second thought."

"Heheheh, don't worry about me, my banshee," he said evasively. "I'm a _real_ man."

I rolled my eyes and couldn't repress a small laugh. I was sorely tempted to make a comment about his pink tunic, but I wasn't one to make fun of others, especially when I had so much for others to poke fun at.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Zelos asked, studying my face with his intelligent eyes.

I shrugged and averted my gaze.

"I don't know," I said. "I was ashamed and humiliated, and—and I didn't think anyone would care…"

"Hey."

I was forced to meet Zelos' eyes when he placed a hand on my cheek and turned my face toward his.

"_I_ care," he said firmly.

His intense blue eyes were penetrating as he continued.

"What he did to you—I'm not too thrilled about it, and I want to punch his lights out, which I just might do the next time I see his sorry face. Sheena? Why are you crying again?"

"I—I don't know," I sniffed. "This is so embarrassing. Telling this kind of secret throws me all off-balance. I'm not sure I want to do it ever again."

Zelos chuckled and wiped away the fresh tears with his thumb, but what he didn't know was that I was crying because I was ridiculously touched that he cared about me.

Talk about embarrassing.

After a moment, I pulled myself together, and Zelos released my face.

"Are you okay now?" he asked quietly, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"I'm fine," I said, and I busied myself putting my purple glove-sleeves back on.

When I finished, I looked at Zelos a little uncertainly. Now that I wasn't so preoccupied with my secret, I felt slightly uncomfortable so close to the man, as if he might see all my flaws and point them out. I didn't know how to act around him; he always shattered all the walls of my self-defense, the ones that had taken years to build up.

"Are you ready to head back?" he asked me as though he sensed my discomfort.

I nodded, and much to my dismay, I couldn't hold back a yawn.

"Then let's go, Miss Sheena," he said. "Someone looks tired."

"'M fine," I mumbled. "I'm not that tired."

He just smiled, stood, and held out a hand. I accepted it and stood with his aide. Frowning, I looked down over the small cliff we were on.

"Let's go," I urged Zelos. "I wouldn't want to fall down there."

"Of course not," Zelos said, his tone playful. "'Cuz then I might have to save you."

I rolled my eyes.

"Please," I said. "I could save myself."

"I don't know…" the redhead taunted. "You would fall, and I would have to swoop down to your rescue and carry you like this—"

I shrieked in shock as Zelos swung me up into his arms, bridal-style. I hugged his neck, scared. I wasn't used to depending on others in any way, shape, or form!

"Zelos, put—put me down!" I cried out as he began to walk.

"I'll think about it," he said thoughtfully. "But don't you want me to be your gleaming knight, babe?"

"Put me down—now!" I demanded.

"Well…if you _insist_…"

"Zelos, I will do much more than 'insist' if you don't put me down," I growled.

"Fine, fine," the impossible man said nonchalantly, and he slowly let me down.

"That's better," I breathed when I once again stood on my own two feet.

Annoyed, I stalked off in the direction of camp; However, I heard Zelos run to catch up with me, and I soon felt his warm hand grab mine.

"Oh, c'mon, Sheena," he pleaded, looking at me with breathtaking eyes. "I was just having fun. Please don't be mad."

He feigned a look of distress, and I felt the tips of my mouth lift. Why did Zelos waste so much time vying for my attention? Whatever his reason, I had no complaints, other than that I was unwillingly becoming more enamored with him every day.

Anyway, as soon as my frown turned into a smile, Zelos gave me a goofy grin and pulled me along.

"Let's go, my favorite banshee," he commanded playfully. "We have work to do."

"What are you going on about now?" I asked, and he stopped and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Zelos!" I snapped, pulling my hand out of his grasp and smacking him in the arm. "You idiot!"

He laughed, and together we made our way back to camp.

I stumbled and almost fell like the first time, and also like the first time, Zelos caught me.

"Careful, Sheena," he teased. "I might have to save your life again."

"Zelos…" I growled. "Don't start…"

"Heheheh—sorry."

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. This one was a bit different from what I usually post, so please--tell me what you think. I really would like to know because reviews help me to improve my writing. -SC

P.S. In regards to my story "Just Tell Me"--thanks to Sango for the review: I wanted to reply to it, but I didn't know who you were. So if you read this little message, just know that I am grateful for the review. XD


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